Education and Training
A young newly married woman has the responsibility of running the affairs of her husband and as such she would need knowledge of cooking, cleaning, ironing, sewing, arranging the furniture, entertaining her guests, socializing with others, taking care of her child, etc.
Her husband would expect her to know all of this.
However, his expectations may not be realized most of the time because his young wife's knowledge about housekeeping is either non-existent or very little indeed.
What can one do? This is a problem in our societies. Neither the parents are bothered, nor the educational system contains enough programs to meet this need. Nevertheless one should find a solution to this problem.
A man, since intending to live with his wife for the rest of his life, must help educate her, because usually men are older than their wives and thus more experienced.
A man, through patience, can educate his wife and teach her things that he knows. He can even ask his mother, sister or aunts about things that he does not know or can even buy books on the related subjects like cooking, tailoring, housekeeping, etc.
A man must also encourage his wife to read the books which may prove to be morally helpful. He must correct her moral shortcomings with good manners and not by protesting, or else she would react against him.
A man, through patience, can educate his wife according to his own way of living within the first two years of their marriage. He may not be successful one hundred percent but undoubtedly would be near satisfaction.
Such education needs patience, time, and wisdom, but a man should try to achieve it. This is because a good partner and a good mother for his children is a blessing for a man.
One of the important points that a Muslim married man should remember is the fact that his wife is also a Muslim and may be unaware of the Islamic code of life and laws. She may not even know about having wuzu (ablution), praying, etc.
As a matter of fact it is a duty of parents to teach their children all the necessary Islamic matters and precepts, Unfortunately, however, parents are mostly ignorant of this fact and without teaching their daughters any thing about Islam, marry them off. Thus their responsibility falls upon the shoulders of the men they marry.
Dear sir! it is your responsibility to familiarize your wife with Islamic precepts and to teach her the dos and don'ts of the religion. Make her learn about Islamic behaviour. If you cannot do this then seek help from others or arrange for books and articles on Islam and make her read and practise them. You can even arrange her education and training through an honest and learned person.
In brief, it is a responsibility of a man to encourage his wife to do good and to forbid her from committing any wrong. If he conforms with this responsibility then he would enjoy the company of a well-behaved, kind, moral, and wise wife.
If he, however, neglects his duty, he would suffer by having an ignorant wife whose faith is weak and who is not immune from immorality. He would also be questioned by Allah in the next world regarding his negligence.
Allah states in the Holy Quran: .."O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones..." (66:6).
"Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'When the above Ayah (verse) was revealed, one of the Muslims was crying and said: 'I am unable to save even myself from the Hellfire and I am supposed to be responsible to save my family from Hell as well'! The Prophet (SA) stated to this man: 'It would suffice you only to order them to do those things that you have to do yourself and to forbid them from those deeds that you yourself should abstain from'."[241]
"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'Men have been made guardians and responsible for their families and as such they are responsible for their dependents'."[242]
"The Holy Prophet (SA) has also reminded women: 'Invite your husbands to do good before they persuade you to commit wrong deeds'."[243]
[241] Wasa'il al-Shi'ah, vol 11, p 417.
[242] Mustadrak, vol 2, p 550.
[243] Bihar al-Anwar, vol 103, p 227.